i can’t let my heart know

emptiness binds me as if i was handcuffed
and holds me so tightly i suffocate
longing consumes all thought
need overwhelms this nightmare
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken

i whisper sweet lies to my heart
you love the way i laugh
you love my tenderness
you love making me strong
you love our lovemaking
you love me
but i am a fool
forever to be caught
in a mesh of stupidity
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken

my heart can’t know
you chose to be alone
instead of choosing me
leaving me cast aside, deserted
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken

my mind wont wrap around your choice
couldn’t love overcome time and distance?
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken

grey skies are a perfect cover for sadness
rain masks the avalanche of my tears
i’m supposed to be full of strenghth
and be able to hold on without failing
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken

i scream in the quiet of my mind
i can’t let my heart know it’s broken
but my heart knows (it always knows) the truth
you wouldn’t make me yours
it knows what a fool (ever the fool) i am
it cackles; it bleeds; it slashes itself apart

i’m broken broken broken broken
my heart and i are broken

Michelle Piniella 12-16-2009