Entries Tagged 'Humour' ↓

Happy New Year!!!

Vodka was my new years partner this year.  So… Yeah.  I’m hungover.  Badly.  Where is the advil and bed???

My absolute favorite bit by Rowan

Nine Words Women Use

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ – that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying, “F– YOU!”

8. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

My boyfriend shared this with me via Google Reader today.  I wonder if it is a hint?? ;)

13 Things PMS Stands For

• Pass My Shotgun
• Psychotic Mood Shift
• Perpetual Munching Spree
• Puffy Mid-Section
• People Make me Sick
• Provide Me with Sweets
• Pardon My Sobbing
• Pimples May Surface
• Pass My Sweat pants
• Pissy Mood Syndrome
• Plainly; Men Suck <– my personal fav
• Pack My Stuff
• Potential Murder Suspect